bro i love sports and women. i got to like 8th base with this hot babe “8th base whats that” she took me to the house she grew up in and showed me pictures of her dead relatives. We sat in the living room and she told me the stories of her life that lead to that moment. Like quicksand they, and that moment were gone and we left back into the cold world which we’d been spat into. It was raining
I had a dream about Thor smoking mad blunts, he got Heimdall to open the bifröst and gave me that Asgardian loud
“In 2002, having spent more than three years in one residence for the first time in my life, I got called for jury duty. I show up on time, ready to serve. When we get to the voir dire, the lawyer says to me, “I see you’re an astrophysicist. What’s that?” I answer, “Astrophysics is the laws of physics, applied to the universe—the Big Bang, black holes, that sort of thing.” Then he asks, “What do you teach at Princeton?” and I say, “I teach a class on the evaluation of evidence and the relative unreliability of eyewitness testimony.” Five minutes later, I’m on the street.
A few years later, jury duty again. The judge states that the defendant is charged with possession of 1,700 milligrams of cocaine. It was found on his body, he was arrested, and he is now on trial. This time, after the Q&A is over, the judge asks us whether there are any questions we’d like to ask the court, and I say, “Yes, Your Honor. Why did you say he was in possession of 1,700 milligrams of cocaine? That equals 1.7 grams. The ‘thousand’ cancels with the ‘milli-’ and you get 1.7 grams, which is less than the weight of a dime.” Again I’m out on the street.”
Note to self, you can be too smart to serve on a jury.
Thanos & Gamora
WARLOCK AND THE INFINITY WATCH #9 (October 1992)
Art by Angel Medina (pencils), Bob Almond (inks) & Ian Laughlin (colors)
Words by Jim Starlin
some kid: why are you always doing beanplants
me: sorry, can’t see my haters